What’s worse than walking by the Cinnabon kiosk - while you are fasting from sugar - and seeing a nice, warm frosting-covered cinnamon roll? Yesterday I experienced something 100 times worse.
As you all know, we just started our 80 day Rest-Fast-Pray initiative called RFP80. This past Sunday I boldly stood up and called people to fast from sugar for 3 days. I don’t think I’m really a sweet-craving person, but yesterday it happened. Cinnabon.
I was in my fourth bite of a deliciously warm bite of Cinnabon (piled with extra frosting for only 50¢), when all of a sudden I remembered that I made a decision to fast from sugar and to do it collectively with our church family! I sat there with this shocking revelation as I slowly and truly savored the taste…it was the perfect-storm-crisis-of-faith.
What do I do now? A flow of thoughts flooded my mind and started to provide rationalizing excuses. “But you didn’t do it on purpose…so it’s OK”, the thought-voices flashed. I imagined the next time I’m with some of you guys and another thought came across my mind: “So much for you being committed. What are you going to say now when people ask how it’s going?”
I looked down at my plastic fork that was adding more frosting onto the warm bite with the perfect amount of moist brown cinnamon juice that I had just torn off my precious little barely eaten bun…“You weren’t even struggling about not eating sugar, so it wasn’t like you gave into temptation. So since it didn’t cross your mind when you started, just finish it up now. You never really eat sugar anyway so what’s the big deal.”
And then finally, the stewardship thought-voice: “You just paid $5 for this, and it's a treat. God provides everything good for us to enjoy, don’t you know! It’s been years since you ate a Cinnabon. Besides, it’s not a sin, it’s just sugar.”
What’s worse than walking by the Cinnabon kiosk and seeing a nice, warm frosting-covered cinnamon roll, is when you realize the courageous choice is to stop eating in mid-bite and choose to throw…it…the whole precious thing…into…the…trash.
I’ve learned that rationalizing is when you try to convince yourself and/or others that what you are doing is OK. So when these thought-voices start flooding my mind, I’ve learned that those are NOT the voices of my Father. It was really hard to decide to not even lick my fork. But I’ve chosen to believe walking with my Father, spending time with Him, and focusing my mind on things above, and not on things of this earth is a lifestyle that I want to fully walk in.
I really do hope that your first RFP80 week is going well, but if you’ve had a “strength-developing workout” like I have, please know that you are not alone! We are doing this collectively to become a strong spiritual family. We are all still growing and resting in our relationship with the Father!
I came across this sermon about “The Resting Place” if you have some time to watch it:
We declare and release God’s goodness and favor and strength on you this week!